Discipline for Teens

It can feel like a real kick to the groin when your youngster speaks to you in a nasty tone of voice. For all you've done for her, it would be nice to get some respect in return! But responding with your own rude comment (though satisfying) isn't the best strategy, no matter your youngster's age. Bite your tongue while you pinpoint what's prompting the sassiness. Ages 3 to 6: You're witnessing the first signs of autonomy. He's figured out that he's different from you — and he's letting you know it. At this age, he doesn't know that those defiant comments aren't so nice (after all, people on TV call each other "stupid" all the time – and maybe those words have also slipped from your lips). Don't overreact, but do let him know that he's hurt your feelings. Keep cool, and then move on. Ages 7 to 11: Now, she's talking back to test your rules and reactions. Instead of stooping to her level, model respect so she learn

Sibling abuse is the physical, emotional or sexual abuse of one sibling by another. The physical abuse can range from more mild forms of aggression between siblings (e.g., pushing and shoving) to very violent behavior (e.g., using weapons). Often moms and dads don’t see the abuse for what it is. As a rule, parents and society expect fights and aggression among brothers and sisters. Because of this, parents often don’t see sibling abuse as a problem until serious harm occurs. Besides the direct dangers of sibling abuse, the abuse can cause all kinds of long-term problems on into adulthood. Research shows that violence between siblings is quite common. In fact, it is probably even more common than child abuse (by parents) or spouse abuse. The most violent members of American families are the kids.  Experts estimate that three kids in 100 are dangerously violent toward a brother or sister. One study puts the number of assaults each year to kids by a sibling at about 35 per 100 c

Discipline is difficult when a youngster has any type of mental or neurological illness. Not only do the old rules not always apply, you have to be flexible about behaviors that are due to your youngster's illness. Because bipolar disorder waxes and wanes, this is particularly hard to do if you want to maintain consistency. If your youngster is a rapid cycler, the challenge of responding properly is even bigger. Here are some important tips for disciplining a child or teenager with bipolar: 1.    Avoid physical fights: Physical punishments (e.g., hitting, spanking, pushing, etc.) really have no place in managing the behavior of a child with bipolar, regardless of age. They simply teach that pain and force are a good way to impose your will on others, and that's not a lesson you want to teach someone who already has problems with impulsivity, limit-setting, and aggression. If you're having a hard time managing your youngster's behavior without getting physical,

Below are some very effective disciplinary techniques specifically for dealing with your child's poor academic performance. Some of these techniques will work – some won’t. Some of these techniques are incompatible with the others – some work well in combination with the others. Use your good judgment to determine which technique(s) to try: 1. Allow your youngster to suffer the natural consequences of bad grades. He may find that he gets in trouble at school more and is kept for detention without a parent to come and smooth the situation over. Explain that if he wants to make his own choices concerning his education, then he will accept his own consequences, even if that means repeating a grade or not getting into the university of his choice. 2. Be consistent with your discipline so that your adolescent always knows what to expect. Setting down clear rules and responsibilities can ensure your adolescent's cooperation. For example, if you say that any grade below

It is hard enough that your teenage son or daughter wants to go out all the time, hang out with friends until all hours of the night, and worry you to death. And now you have to consider an appropriate curfew. Setting a curfew for an adolescent is one of those things that must be done carefully and enforced completely from the beginning. Being allowed to socialize with peers is most definitely a privilege, and chances are if moms and dads aren’t remaining aware and informed at all times, their teenager will get into some sort of trouble. Tips for Avoiding Curfew Conflict— 1. Communicate clearly what the agreed upon times are, through written and verbal reinforcements. This means, post it on the refrigerator and reinforce with a verbal reminder (e.g., "I look forward to seeing you around 10:30 tonight"). Also, be careful how hard and fast you make that curfew. Allow for a small buffer (maybe 10 minutes) so that your teenager does not drive faster in order to be hom

On one hand, the word "mistake" may be too harsh. Every teenager is different, and only you really know if your son or daughter is happy and flourishing. Therefore, who is to say what a parenting mistake is and is not? On the other hand, "mistake" may not be harsh enough. Raising a teenager is the most important job in the world, and if you err as a mother or father, the word "mistake" may not fully convey the seriousness of the situation. Chances are though you're not making any of the 25 mistakes listed below. Maybe you're close on one or two, but nothing to really worry yourself about. So use this list as a reminder of what not to do as a parent. However, if you realize you're making many of these mistakes, it's probably time to sit down with your husband or wife and reevaluate your roles as mom and dad. Remember, it's never too late to change. 25 Mistakes to Avoid When Disciplining Your Teen— 1. Accepting any beh

"How do I know if I'm being too strict - or too lenient - with my rebellious teenage daughter?" The purpose of disciplining irresponsible behavior is to teach teens about the real world. There are basically two ways to discipline: naturally and logically. Natural consequences occur as a natural result of behavior and choices without parental intervention (e.g., the teen parks he car in a ‘no parking’ zone – she gets a ticket and has to pay it with her allowance money). However, there are times when allowing natural consequences to occur is much too dangerous (e.g., the teen experiments with drugs – she gets addicted). When natural consequences are too dangerous, it’s time to create logical consequences. In general, these involve some loss of privileges as a result of inappropriate behavior. Here’s how to structure appropriate logical consequences: 1. The consequence should be delivered assertively. “It’s almost midnight! Where the hell have you been? You k